Understanding is key to building a lasting relationship. You’re bound to have disagreements with your partner, so proper back and forth is necessary. One way to understand your partner and ultimately communicate with them better is learning their love language. This can be one of five choices: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Here’s how you can use them to know your partner better.
Not to be confused with outright materialism, people who have “receiving gifts” as their primary love language don’t often focus on the thing itself. They appreciate the effort and thought that goes into them. This means that a simple bracelet or ring from a local jewelry store can mean the world to them because you invested time and effort to think of that present for them.
It’s also crucial to prepare a present for significant times in your lives like anniversaries or Christmas. A missed gift might make them feel unappreciated and neglected. So if you’re low on cash, try to give them personalized tokens like love letters or a drawing. Sometimes, it’s the simplest things that make the most impact.
Being with your partner isn’t enough to say that you’re spending quality time with them. If you’re on your phone most of your days together, then they might feel undervalued in your life — even if you truly love them. If you find that this is significantly important to your partner, minimize distractions while you’re together.
Turn your phone on silent. Commit to dates and do your best to arrive on time. Give them your full attention and always listen to their stories. Remember that quality time doesn’t have to be grand nights out at a fancy restaurant or concerts in Washington. It can be sharing childhood stories in bed or cooking dinner together. Like the “receiving gifts” language, the simpler the better.
Words of Affirmation
This love language is for those who see words as equally important as actions. As important as phrases like “I love you” are, people who yearn for words of affirmation often look beyond those lines. They want to know why you said what you said and if you really meant them. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to explain everything you say in depth. Short and sweet messages like “I love you because you understand me” are enough for them to feel your warmth.
Partners who have this as their primary love language are very observant when it comes to conversation. Expect them to be inquisitive when they think there’s something wrong with how you speak with them. It’s important to learn how to speak with humility if you’ve done something wrong, encouragement when they’re facing challenges, and appreciation when they do something nice for you.
Acts of Service
If your partner has this love language, they have more of a “show, don’t tell” attitude. They find happiness in things like making breakfast for you or going on gym dates. They also expect you to do the same. Small things like taking over cleaning duties around the house or taking care of the kids while your partner rests make all the difference. It doesn’t mean that you’re a slave, though. You just need to show them that you have their back through your actions.
Some people feel and show love through cuddling, massaging, and holding hands. It’s one of the most simple love languages. This is mostly needed when your partner is going through a rough time. Apart from giving them advice and reassuring them that everything will be okay, a comforting hug will be a great help for them. They might even need this after every workday.
It’s important to know that you can have more than one love language. But there will always be one that sticks out above the rest. Ask your partner what they feel is the most important way of showing love. Show them the five love languages and rank them according to importance. You may even take the quiz together on its official website. Use them as a way to see what you need to work on as a partner. Before you know it, you’ll be fluent in loving your special someone to the fullest.